SolveYourProblem
Article Series:
Start
An eBay Business
10
Sure-fire Ways to Ruin Your eBay Business
by Jeff Cohen
It’s surprisingly easy to kill your eBay business,
if you’re not careful – sure, you can start over from scratch
without it costing you anything, but do you really want to?
Still, if you want your business to end up dead in the water,
here are some simple ways to do it.
Lie
about an item: Say it works fine when it sometimes doesn’t
work. Say it’s in perfect condition when it has a scratch.
Your customers will hate you!
Post
whenever you feel like it: Make sure to leave your customers
hanging around, wondering when their item is going to turn
up. This makes sure they buy from someone else next time.
Let
items end anytime: Few people will be around to care about
your auction if it ends in the middle of the night. Why go
to the trouble of working out whether auctions will end at
a good time?
Don’t
bother with email: Customers are just timewasters anyway.
eBay businesses are supposed to run themselves! Never give
informed responses to questions about your item.
Sell
rubbish: Really, it’s just eBay. You can just sell any
old tat from the market for a 200% profit. Let quality be someone
else’s concern – I mean, really, what do they expect for that
price?
Refuse
to give discounts: You know what your items cost, you
know what your profit margin is going to be, and you’re not
going to negotiate. Remember that giving customers special
deals might make them feel good and come back to you again.
Make
your listings ugly: As many colours, flashing lights
and animations as possible will really give those customers
a headache. Write as much in CAPITALS!!!! as you can. Preferably
big, red capitals. Be sure to use the fonts Impact and Comic
Sans. For an extra special touch, see if you can figure out
a way to add some music.
Don’t
take photos: It’s such trouble, after all. If buyers
are picky enough to actually want to see items before they
bid on them, then screw ‘em, that’s what I say.
Write
short descriptions: Be as brief as possible, and use
lots of mysterious abbreviations. This obviously makes you
look very cool. You can even just write the title again in
the description box. Think of the effort you’ll save!
Use
reserve auctions: Now, this is a fairly controversial
final choice, but it really is one of the best ways to scare
away your customers. They’ll see ‘reserve not yet met’, and
click that ‘back’ button before you know it. Luckily, they
can always bid in a normal auction for the item somewhere else.
# # # # # SolveYourProblem.com : 2007
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